A couple weeks ago I gave in and joined match.com. Now, I know you're thinking I'm an idiot because we all remember how ridiculous my eHarmony experience was, BUT in my defense, I know people that have been on it and really enjoyed it... plus, I had a coupon!
I've also approached this round of online dating with an open mind and I'm trying to not judge people like I normally would. I'm growing up!!!! So I've been emailing a couple people, most of which I'm not really interested in, but trying to give them a chance. One of them asked me out last week. I should probably note that as part of his invitation, he included "and as always, it's ladies choice and gentleman's treat." Who says that?!?! Needless to say, I still said yes. Instead of the proposed dinner, I offered a coffee date instead because, let's face it, I can chug down some coffee real quick if it's going horrific. I'm not about to be at the mercy of the wait staff for 2 hours.
When I walked into the coffee shop, instead of standing up to greet me or introducing himself, he looks at me, taps his watch face, and says "You're 3 minutes late." And no, he wasn't kidding. I shrug it off and sit down to find that he's already ordered food and a drink for himself. Apparently those were precious precious 3 minutes... Ladies choice and gentleman's treat only counts if you're on time.
He offers to buy my drink, which I consider for a moment just to punish him for being a douche, and then get up to buy it myself. Turns out that was a good choice because I had a far better conversation with the barista in the 3 minutes it took to make my drink than I had with the date. Talking to him was like pulling teeth... come to think of it, the dentist might have been more fun. Luckily, the coffee shop was hosting a Connect 4 tournament in a few days so they had games out for everyone to play. Had we not had Connect 4, there would have been no connection.
After an hour, I tell him I need to go home and get doped up on cold meds so I can sleep. We head outside, where I've already planned my gracious exit and then he drops the bomb... "So, I've had my first audition... do I get a second?" Mi scuse?!!?! He thought that went well enough for round 2?!?!
No no my friend. Thanks for playing. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Game over.
Stay tuned for future shit-shows, folks....
